Six months ago (October 2, 2013 to be exact) for the first time in my very long work life, I was told, “it’s not personal” and laid off.
The shock and sense of betrayal took its toll, as it always has.
Unemployment barely covered the mortgage payment but because of the incredible support of Ryan and Matt, I survived and we were able to keep our home.
Ankle and eye surgery in October followed while I had health insurance. Then the healing began.
Finding a job became my full-time job. I went to my first interview on crutches (I didn’t get the position).
My goal was to apply for at least one position every day – I usually applied for three or four.
I eventually shortened my resume so as not to reveal my age; yes, age discrimination in hiring is rampant.
Many interviews followed; most were for positions that made my stomach hurt. You see, I know too much about health plans and how our incredibly dysfunctional health system works.
I decided to focus on either the regulatory or clinical area of health care. And I was very blessed to find a job in the regulatory area. It’s a perfect fit for me now. After seven weeks on the job, I’m very satisfied.
Backing up two months.
It was early February 2014 and I had accepted my new position. Scheduled to start on Feb 17th, I decided to take a solo road trip to unwind both from the draining job search, and visit my son Matt in So California. I also wanted to take in the Grand Canyon as well since I have never been there. The day before I was to leave, my only nephew Vincent overdosed and went into a coma.
The synchronicity of all of this can only be in God.
I left our home and drove to my life-long friend Kyle’s house in So California and we headed straight to the hospital. It was pulverizing to see Vincent being kept alive by life support.
After three days, they declared him brain-dead and started preparing him for organ donation. You see, he signed up for organ donation when he first got his driver’s license.
It’s been two months since Vincent’s death.
My sister is a mess. Her own addiction and substance abuse is continuing unabated. This is making it that much more difficult to grieve in a healthy, growth-inducing way.
Life has a way of throwing us the curve balls we need for our own spiritual growth, at the very moment we need them.
I have to avoid co-dependency. My heart aches for my sister’s pain but it also aches knowing that her choices have brought her, and her beautiful only son Vincent, to this place.
Owning the consequences of our choices is important to spiritual growth. I have to hold myself, and my sister, accountable.
My Spirit is looking forward to a challenging year.
