The chaos I created

On the home front, I've been without a computer for a while now. I had to have the flooring redone downstairs (it needed it when I bought the house in 1995). Even though I did the entry/kitchen floor last year, I see now that the material I used and the installation reflected my inexperience. Since I had to redo the family room and wanted to use laminate I have two choices; use the same material I used in the kitchen or replace it all. I found a great contractor on craigslist that did all of the laminate and carpet for less than half the cost Home Depot quoted – and it is now done with high quality material and reflects a professional installation. But what it's meant is that I've had to move everything from the family room out so he could put the laminate in and then move everything from the living room/dining room out so the new carpet could be installed. It's going to be wonderful when the house gets put back together – hopefully this weekend. But it's been self-inflicted chaos for the last couple of weeks. I'm using Matt's laptop to update this journal.

On the work front, I managed to get in BIG trouble today – bottom line is I don't play the political game and I sent a memo to my boss and my bosses boss asking for a change in responsibility such that I can manage the pharmacy component of the Medicare programs I am responsible for. Our organization has some real fundamental organizational structure problems that make it such that the pharmacy product managers have a direct impact on my products when they make decisions and/or ignore issues that have a negative impact on my Medicare programs. The whole political environment is frustrating for me. I've never changed my behavior to make gains politically within any organization – including my family of origin – and I can't imagine changing now that I'm 51 years old. My boss is extremely political and fearful of taking risks. The fact that the two of us work together makes it a challenge just given the difference between our professional style. At least he's easy to talk to – even if he is ineffective. Oh well… My motives are pure and in the best interest of our members. As long as I focus on that, I'll be OK. In the meantime, I'm struggling to be effective in an environment that at it's most fundamental level doesn't facilitate effectiveness.

Other news – Mark and Katie called tonight. Apparently their youngest daughter is having some health challenges that seem to be similar to the health issues we've face with Ryan. We had a very long conversation and I'm going to gather all of the medical records I can for them to look at. Given the genetic link we feel it would be helpful for them to have an awareness of what Ryan's gone through so we can be sure their daughter gets the best care possible. I'm lighting a candle for her and will keep them all in my prayers. I'm so deeply grateful that we have a good relationship. Katie is a wonderful mom and I'm blessed that she's my sons step-mother. I'll do whatever I can to help.

That's it for now. I'll try and update more frequently once I get my home life back together.

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