Someone I love told me recently:
“as life circumstances change, you take that as a person abandoning you. Life changes. People don't necessarily change in regard to you. But you seem to change in regard to them.”
Upon reading this, my first reaction was to wonder why they would tell me that now? Is it because it is Lent and they felt that I could deal with that kind of input now – as well as all the other stuff I'm dealing with? Then I thought about it……….. and I realized that they couldn't have known all the other crap being tossed my way because I have withdrawn from what was once a very close friendship. So I simply responded to their email with an “Ok”.
After thinking about it for a while now, I have come to the understanding that:
Once trust is broken – the wound goes deep, and healing is a life-long process.
If a soul experiences numerous instances of broken trust, the wound goes deeper and the scar tissue thicker with each broken relationship.
That is all I'll say about that right now.
I am facing unemployment soon – and am frightened. We love our house – it is my priority and I will do whatever I can to keep it. My boss is a nice person but she has shown me that she cannot deal with all of this in a professional, compassionate manner. She is sending me very mixed messages – on the one hand, she told me the CFO said they would “take care of me”. On the other hand, she tells me she “thinks I'll be OK”. HR says I have to submit an application and resume for each position I may be interested in – which isn't very supportive at all.
I wonder what a nervous breakdown feels like?