Pheo Martin, aka Claudia Rose Martin, aka Claudia Heidorn

To think you know someone is the epitome of arrogance. I’ve learned that the hard way.

Claudia was my spiritual director for many years.

Eventually I thought we became friends. I say “I thought” because it is now clear that she was never a friend.

She was a Roman Catholic nun. She quit and entered into a small community with another former nun and was doing spiritual direction. She struggled financially and tried to build a business writing, making music, photography, teaching, and creating dietary supplements.

Eventually she was doing spiritual direction for a woman dying of cancer (Margaret Rothschild Heidorn). Within weeks of the woman dying, she started dating the woman’s very wealthy husband (George Heidorn, formerly with Microsoft). Within 8 months they were married. I was beyond shocked, to say the least. I never imagined Claudia would marry; much less do so simply because her life had become a challenge financially. She stopped communicating with me shortly after that. When I shared how hurt it felt to be simply cut off, she apologized and said she needed 2016 to ‘recover’ (she said she was physically depleted).

I sent her a Christmas card in December of 2016 with a simple Christmas greeting and in early January 2017, she sent me an email telling me to not bother sending one again.

At first I was devastated; I trusted and loved her.

I was OK to be friends with when she was struggling financially, but now that she married into a significant amount of money, she doesn’t have the time or energy to maintain what was supposed to be a friendship.

I’ve learned a lot through this – judge people by their actions, not their empty words.

Hard lesson to learn; very, very hard.

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