To my former coworkers in 2013

First, I miss all of you very much! It feels like a part of me has been abruptly chopped off. Each and every one of you taught me so much about both myself, and Life. I’m grateful our paths crossed.

After a few days spent in shock and grieving, I am beginning to feel like my old self again.

Losing one’s job means losing health coverage so …………….

I’ve been spending quite a bit of time trying to get my son’s Medicaid and Medicare coverage secured. That’s been my biggest worry. He’s been doing so well lately and it would be devastating to have him go without his seizure medications and risk sliding back to the tragic life he had a couple of years ago. I’m so grateful for the knowledge I’ve gained in my career that I can help him through this.

I’m also taking care of all of my health needs this month as well.

During my tenure, I had this prayer up on my cubicle wall. It was something I read to myself every single day, and incorporated in my email signature. Everything happens for a reason; I’ve always known that. I also know something wonderful is in store for me once my ankle surgery heals and I’m very excited for the future. Thank you again for sharing this part of my path.



“There’s been a reorganization and your position has been eliminated.”

With those words, my life changed dramatically (again) today.  The last time anything like this happened was in 1989 when my husband moved out.

After feeling surrounded and engulfed with overwhelming darkness all day, I spoke with Claudia and by the time we finished speaking, I felt an overwhelming sense of awareness and light.


I will not judge myself in any way.

I am going to be fine and I’m going to come through this.

It is time for me to let go of the past and come out in a better place professionally.

Those who need help navigating our system need me and I WILL be there for them.

For quite some time now, I’ve known I needed to do something more than just work for a health insurance company.  I’ve seen first hand the incredible difficulty people have navigating our health system.  I’ve personally experienced this difficulty time and time again – the most recent last week when I had to explain to Ryan’s new Medicare plan how to handle my request for an appeal for coverage of his medications.

Today, Wednesday, my position was eliminated and I’m faced with a wonderful opportunity to find my true destiny.

This is going to be fun.

Fall Equinox and Life Lessons abound

Quite often lately I find myself wondering what I’m doing with my life. I find it very, very hard to engage with anyone who doesn’t take things seriously.

And by things I mean everything that most don’t want to talk about; poverty, inequality, war etc.

Corruption in our courts who refuse to hold the banks and Wall Street accountable for fraud committed against homeowners.

Corruption in our President who promised change and simply continued the war mongering and drone killing of innocent human beings – including uncharged American citizens.

Greed run amok resulting in plutocrats running this oligarchy and no hope for my sons or their future children (if they choose to go that route).

More often than not I feel like I’m on a prison planet designed for purging darkness from the human soul.

As it stands today, the only way I will leave anything of monetary value for my sons is if I die while I’m working and have continued to pay my life insurance premiums (which today are almost $200 per paycheck). The premiums will go up substantially as I age and I’m aging quickly.

Retirement??? Please……. that’s a dream for another lifetime.

Happy Fall Equinox!


The Mayonnaise Jar (or your Life’s allegory)

It appears this has been around a while on the internet but I just found it. Incredibly important Life Lesson here.


When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and fills it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “YES”.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions. Things, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else — the small stuff.” he said.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are
important to you…” he told them.

“So… pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Worship with your family. Play with your children. Take your partner out to dinner. Spend time with good friends. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. Take care of the golf balls first — the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled and said, “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”


Corruption and Apathy

The overwhelming depth of government and corporate corruption, combined with the pathetic apathy of most in the US has me feeling depressed and drained emotionally.

While our personal technology devices are supposed to help us feel more connected, they do the opposite for me.

Time to disconnect and nurture all that is eternal.

Blessings to Bradley Manning, Edward Snowden, Thomas Drake and all the other whistle blowers and want-to-be whistle blowers. Your sacrifice and courage give me hope.