Today (December 9, 2025) I called the hospital to see how Neil was doing.
He was no longer there. So I called his wife, Ruthie, and she just called me back.
Neil passed away November 22, 2025.
He wanted to be cremated.
He was an incredibly good and honorable man I loved for a long time.
Rest in peace dear Neil. I’ll see you when I get there.
Neil’s wife, Ruthie, called me about three weeks ago. Neil’s in the hospital and has been there over three months. He can’t speak, she said. I sent some flowers with a note.
I’m honestly afraid to call to see how he is doing.
Neil is one of the most honorable men in my life. For so many reasons.
He’s five years older than me.
I don’t want to hear he’s passed away. I just don’t.
Men like Neil are very few and far between.
I’ll have to write about my relationship with him one day soon. It’s a long story.
Twice today, this came across my feed. Twice. And yes, I know when I’m being given an important Life Lesson.
First snow of the season came today; only about an inch at the townhouse. Last year we had 23 inches at the rental house.
It is so cold!
Matt and IzzyB came over and we went out to an early dinner.
Ryan and I moved the Vespa and cargo trailer from the Public Storage to our garage. We’ve been working so hard to clear it out to make room for it so we can save money.
I’m looking forward to spring and warmer weather.
And honestly, I took for granted all the years we lived at our house in Washington state. Rarely snow and everything is always so green and healthy. I guess I’m missing home today.
Thinking about this interaction with Bob, I dodged a bullet.
Attracting emotionally unavailable men is something I have some experience with; it never ends well.
Being true to me has served me well again.
Matt, Ryan and I are celebrating – just us – for the first time in a very, very long time.
Turkey, huge lobster tails, salad, mashed potatoes, green beans.
We watched Barry Lyndon last night and today we watched The Island. Our Thanksgiving movie tradition lives.
I love my family more than anything.
I am thankful and blessed.
So much is going on right now that I’m at a loss where to begin really. That being said, this will be a bit of a chaotic entry under the circumstances.
I’ve never ‘played the dating game’ and I don’t intend to start now. Meeting someone who you admire and want to get to know better should be easy.
It’s not that easy.
We all come with our own history. Sometimes the emotional and psychological wounds interfere. For me, abandonment is a wound that goes deep. Fighting it only goes so far.
Trying to be open to whatever Life brings my way is a skill too.
I met someone recently. His name is Bob.
We connected via an introduction from our respective son and daughter (Matt videoed her wedding and Bob was officiating).
We exchanged emails, then texts. Phone calls never occurred as we both were hesitant. During the course of our dialog, I had a few Life Issues come up and pulled away a bit – my text responses were shorter than they had been. I was emotionally overwhelmed with Life Issues.
He then came out to Denver to visit his daughter for Thanksgiving so we arranged to meet the Saturday afternoon he arrived. My pulling away was the first thing he mentioned so I apologized and explained – in painful detail – what was going on. Anyway, I thought we had a wonderful three hours together. During our conversation, we discussed seeing each other for a little day road trip on Friday that we previously talked about before he came to visit.
I reached out via text later that evening and thanked him for a lovely time. His response was very short but did say ‘see you soon’.
On Monday, I sent him an email with an article about military oaths I had read that I hoped he could comment on. I didn’t know if he’d be checking email or not while away from home and it wasn’t anything urgent; just something I had mentioned when we were chatting.
He did not respond to the email. He responded via text with copy/paste from the Army website with the Enlisted and Commissioned oaths. No other comment. Just the copy/paste of the actual oaths (it was clear to me he had read my email).
I was very excited to hear from him so I responded via text immediately saying I was thinking of him and that I wished I had taken more time off work so we could get to know each other while he was here.
His text response was ‘have a great day at work’.
Bottom line is I know something is going on but I’m not sure what. He did mention he was dealing with some PTSD and for me to NOT ask him about it when we met. And I know his daughter’s mother-in-law is difficult and that’s who they are spending Thanksgiving with.
Could it be me? My abandonment issues kicked in big time.
Matt told me to ‘play it cool’; he’s probably busy or just playing it cool himself. In other words, the standard dating game BS.
I thought about that for a two days.
Playing the ‘dating game’ has never been my style and I’m not about to start now.
So today, Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, I sent him this email:
That is who I am. I cannot play any kind of relationship game, with anyone.
We agreed when we met last Saturday that we’d get together Friday after Thanksgiving. I didn’t want him to feel obligated if he wasn’t that into me after meeting.
And journaling all of this has left me feeling so much better.
I have to be ME. I have to be true to who I am and how I feel.
If that means I’m alone for the rest of my life, so be it.
Now I’ve got a house to clean and stuff to do before Matt, Ryan and I spend Thanksgiving together – just us – for the first time in a very, very long time.
EPILOGUE
It appears Bob wants a ‘friend’, not someone to ‘date’:
Chloe is Bob’s granddaughter. She’s a very, very special Soul and he’s devoted his life to her since she was born.
Bob is a very, very special Soul too.
LAST EPILOGUE – November 27, 2025
I responded to his email with this:
And I shared a link to this post. Here’s his response:
And I responded with this:
I need time to process all of this.
Yesterday was IzzyB’s 6th birthday. I’m so glad to be here in Colorado to celebrate with her. I planned the day off a while ago hoping I could participate in whatever was planned. Turns out Ashley took the day off too and there were lots of plans. I asked Ashley if I could join and she said yes.
We went to The Urban Farm for a meet and greet. It was an amazing place; smelled just like my Grandpa and Grandma’s place in Salt Lake City. So many memories came to my mind.
Then we spent some time at Stanley Marketplace (I think that’s what it is called). I had a peach tea drink from Bad Peach Cafe that was absolutely amazing. We walked around for a bit as we were waiting for the paint gun adventure to open. There’s a little park there so IzzyB was able to enjoy that for a bit.
Then it was time to head to All About Smash, this is a rage and paint splash room. IzzyB wasn’t quite old enough to do the rage room so we did the splash room. When she’s 11 we can do the rage room and she’s looking forward to that.
This photo was taken before we started. We were allotted 20 minutes.
It didn’t quite land with IzzyB. She lasted about 3 minutes and then wanted to leave. She got some in her mouth and felt like we were focusing on shooting her with the paint too much. She’s only six after all. So we left the room and cleaned up. There was an air hockey table right beside the rooms so IzzyB and Ashley had some fun with that.
After this adventure, it was time for lunch at Dave and Buster’s. IzzyB really scored and we had so much fun!
Whew…….. we then went to IzzyB’s house and she had a birthday cupcake (which she’d been asking for all day) and we played a bit. Watch until the end for a Luka butt bomb.
We also relaxed with some youtube videos. I sat on the sofa with her cuddled by me and out of the blue… “I love you Grammy”. Melts my heart when she does that.
Before long it was time to head to Colore. This is IzzyB’s favorite restuarant – ‘they have the best noodles’. Her “cousins” also came just like last year. These are Ashley’s close friends who have children close to IzzyB’s age. They are so cute and we had a great dinner and celebrated with birthday cupcakes.
It was truly an incredible birthday celebration and I feel truly blessed to celebrate it with her. I love you so much IzzyB! You are growing up to be an amazing Soul with a beautiful heart and smile, just like your Daddy (who is *the* best Dad in the whole world and I’m not kidding!).
