Even though I grew up in the Roman Catholic church, Lent never held much meaning for me. While I loved the mystery of the Latin mass and the liturgical seasons, I never really understood the connection it had to my 'real' life.

Around 1990, I began exploring my spirituality in depth. I have always felt different – kind of like ultra-conscious of all feelings and energies. A wonderful teacher I had in school – who I'm still in contact with – described me as the most intense young woman he had ever known.

Through the Episcopal church I was attending with the boys after moving to the Seattle area following my divorce, I met a former RC nun and at the suggestion of the parish priest, we began “spiritual direction”. Sounds weird, I know, but it was the most enlightening experience for me. For well over 10 years, she helped me see God at work in my life.

One constant theme since becoming aware of the ebb and flow of my life has been the challenges of Lent. Without fail, Lent has always brought significant opportunities to go deeper into my soul and explore God.

Usually this has been accompanied by some significant emotional upheaval or turmoil.

The first few months of this year have been so extraordinary. I am hoping this Lent will be different and I will be given opportunities for spiritual growth that aren't founded in turmoil. We'll see……. it's clear emotional upheaval will play a significant part in this year's Lent.

My candles are lit and I'm opening my heart to all possibilities. Feeling so spiritually and emotionally connected to someone is something that has been missing from my life for so long. I realize now how empty my heart was when Steve and I were together.

And as Spring begins, I am confident my heart IS open. Now I just need to keep my wits about me and not let this wonderful feeling of being drawn to someone interfere with what I know is important in building a lasting bond.