I’m sure you’ve experienced this too.

Charming, charismatic people who are always fun to be around are often very, very different once you really get to know them. When my oldest son was in junior high school, he actually told me that home was the only safe place to take off his ‘mask’.

You know, the mask we put on to show the person we either believe the world expects us to be, or the person we want the world to think we are.

Look around at the people in your life. What do you really know about them, even the ones to whom you feel closest? Do you really know what puts a fire in their belly? Chances are, you know only what they let you see. Fear of intimacy is rampant.

To thine own self, be true.

Self-awareness is the key.

Soul intimacy – the spiritual and emotional connection between Souls begins with self-awareness. Intimate partners take off their ‘world mask’ and choose to be close through connecting at the deepest level. Allowing ourself to be vulnerable in relationship to another is the seed of Soul intimacy. This seed is then nurtured in trust, transparency and physical rituals of connection.

Soul intimacy requires self-awareness such that you stand for yourself in an intimate relationship without taking over the other or losing yourself to the other. Self-differentiation is marked by the ability to be separate and together in an intimate relationship and being okay with that.

Self-disclosure and candour between Souls deepens our intimate connection. However, getting too close too quickly; struggling to find the boundary and to sustain connection; being poorly skilled as a friend, rejecting self-disclosure or even rejecting friendships and those who have them is all too common. Do you know people who bounce from relationship to relationship and on the surface, appear to be thriving? Dig deeper and you’ll find someone who has no idea what it means to be intimate on a Soul level with another.

When we are not honest with ourself and others — we create separation instead of intimacy. This goes against our purpose here on earth, which is to become one again with other Souls, just as we were in the Infinite. This is why it feels so good to have a close friend or lover — because our Soul craves this Oneness – IT IS WHO WE ARE.

And this is why when we share our pure thoughts and are willing to say the uncomfortable truths tempered with compassion and empathy, we feel peaceful and grounded. We are also reflecting Love in a world that desperately needs it.

An important Life Lesson I’ve learned is that when we truly care about someone, we should do everything in our power to be open and honest.

Love without Unity isn’t Love, and Unity without Love isn’t Unity.

If you find yourself telling a lie to save someone’s feelings — or to save face — ask yourself: “Who does this lie serve?” And then go back to exploring who you really are.

Self-awareness is the key