I turned 68 last Monday, May 23, 2022.

Physically, I’m barely hanging on. I believe having COVID19 earlier this year took a toll on my health.

Arthritis, too.

I get out of breath just walking to the mailbox and back.

I cannot work in my yard or around the house like I used to. I know I’m growing old but wow, I’ve never had this kind of challenge.

My oldest son and granddaughter live far away (Denver).

My youngest son lives with me and hates the fact that at 36 y/o, he lives at home.

I have to work full time just to support this house and Ryan; and I’m tired.

Very, very tired.

This morning (Saturday, May 28, 2022) I woke up to a pain in my upper back/neck area – nerve pain it feels like – but who the hell knows. It has been here all day and it radiates down my left arm. Pain makes me feel very cranky and hopeless.

My primary care doctor quit and while I made an appointment with a new one, she can’t get me in until October.

My society would rather murder children by allowing rampant access to assault weapons by damn near everyone (I say damn near because in Washington state where I live that is not true). I cannot bring myself to watch media related to the Uvalde, Texas mass murder – I can only hold so much grief.

Our public servants have failed us. Here’s what we must do NOW:

1. Implement a two-month federal buy back program for any assault weapon for $6000 each – no per person limit
2. After that two month buy back program ends, make it a felony punished by 10 years minimum sentence to own one

My country is diving deeply into fascism and it’s horrific and ugly.

I try to pretend none of these things are happening and on most days, I’m OK.

But not today.

Not today.