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Mandi Caruso and "Surfing the dysfunction"

Posted on November 12, 2007 by shawnnaOctober 19, 2019

If you read my “Drama at Work” stuff, you know that a former supervisor coined the phrase, “it’s a transaction, not a relationship”.

Well, I was talking with him again a few days ago and sharing how hopeful I was that our VP would figure out a way to not get caught up in all of the dysfunction that is going on at the very highest levels of the company. As we were talking, he said something that stuck with me – again.

The goal isn’t to FIX the dysfunction or IGNORE it, rather, we need to surf the dysfunction.

Such a powerful visual image! Especially for someone like me who loves the ocean and would have gladly spent my entire life on the beach or riding the waves!

I’m reminded of this story I found a while back.

If I had a hero, it would be Mandi Caruso. I’ve never met her but when I read this story, I was overwhelmed with a sense of admiration.

Alive With Passion _ Mandi Caruso
Mandi Caruso has the most extraordinary attitude toward her body, and Life.

For those who won’t read the article, Mandi is a physician who loves to surf. In her physician role, she specializes in caring for critically ill and dying patients.

“Night after long, sleepless night, I listened to people as all their definitions of themselves — job, home, family, possessions — were ruthlessly stripped away by their fear of death. From these, the dying, I learned that fear of death rules our lives far more than passion for living.”

She was diagnosed with breast cancer and given 3-6 months to live. Instead of going through the chemo and radiation her doctors recommended, she scheduled a double mastectomy. Once healed, she had the most beautiful tattoo of the ocean waves created on her chest. Now when she surfs – which she does as often as she can – she wears just a bathing suit bottom.

To be so self-confident and have such a powerful body image is rare. Someday I hope to grow up to be just like her.

mandycloseupxm4.jpg

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Monday blahs

Posted on November 12, 2007 by shawnnaNovember 12, 2007

Why is it Monday morning seems to bring with it the blahs?

I’m finding it very hard to get motivated today.

worried.gif

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"War against a foreign country only happens when the moneyed classes think they are going to profit from it"

Posted on November 8, 2007 by shawnnaNovember 8, 2007

George Orwell

who also said

We have now sunk to a depth at which restatement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.

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Presidential Candidates + Issues Matrix – very cool tool for becoming an educated voter!

Posted on November 7, 2007 by shawnnaNovember 7, 2007

Being an educated voter is a responsibility of every citizen of this country – especially now when so much of what our Constitution stands for has been trampled by the criminals who are in power.

This is the coolest tool I’ve seen yet for learning about each of the US Presidential candidates and their position on each of the key issues.

Candidates + Issues Matrix

You can read a little about each candidate by scrolling your mouse over their picture, then rate how your own position on the key issues compares with that candidate’s position.

You can also compare how your ratings line up with others who have used the tool and watch how the ratings change over time.

Very cool tool indeed!

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Depression, narcissism, self-esteem, personal power and spiritual growth

Posted on November 3, 2007 by shawnnaNovember 3, 2007

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about depression and other forms of emotional and spiritual malaise that seem to invade us all at one point or another.

I’ve never studied the chakras in depth. What I have read illustrates a spiritual cohesiveness that is undeniable. Recent events in the lives of people I love very much have led me to this particular awareness and I want to explore the Chakras in more depth.

This website in particular is worth exploring but here’s what jumped out at me as I explored spiritual healing of depression.

Sacred Truth of the Third Chakra

The third chakra, often called the solar plexus, is our personal power centre, the magnetic core of the personality and ego.

Primary strengths of the third chakra are self-esteem, self respect, and self discipline, ambition, the ability to generate action, and the ability to handle a crisis; the courage to take risks, generosity, ethics and strength of character.

Primary fears of rejection, criticism, looking foolish and failing to meet ones responsibilities, all fears relating to physical appearance, such as fear of obesity, baldness or ageing, fears that others will discover our secrets fall within this chakra.

Developing Self esteem

The first three chakra spiritual currents merge to form the intuitive voice of our solar plexus. As we develop a sense of self, our intuitive voice becomes our natural and constant source of guidance.

How we feel about ourselves, whether we respect ourselves, determines the quality of our life, our capacity to succeed in business, relationships, healing and intuitive skills. Self understanding and acceptance, the bond we form with ourselves, is in many ways the most critical spiritual challenge we face. In truth, if we do not like ourselves, we will be incapable of making healthy decisions. Instead, we will direct all of our personal power for decision-making into the hands of someone else; someone whom we want to impress, or someone before whom we think we must weaken ourselves to gain physical security. People who have a low sense of self esteem attract relationships and occupational situations that reflect and reinforce this weakness. Nobody is born with healthy self esteem. We must earn this quality in the process of living as we face our challenges one at a time.

Self Esteem and Intuition

Most people are in touch with their intuition, yet can completely misunderstand the nature of their intuition. They can confuse intuition with prophetic ability ie “intuition is the ability to foretell the future.” Intuition is neither the ability to engage prophecy nor a means of avoiding financial loss or painful relationships. It is the ability to use energy data to make decisions in the immediate moment. Energy data are the emotional, psychological and spiritual components of a given situation. There are the ~here and now~ ingredients of life, not non-physical information from some ~future~ place.

If a person suffers from low self esteem, she cannot act on her intuitive impulses because her fear of failure is too intense. While we measure our own success in terms of our personal comfort and security, the universe measures our success by how much we have learned. So long as we use comfort and security as our critieria of success, we will fear our own intuitive guidance because by its very nature it directs us into new cycles of learning that are sometimes uncomfortable.

Believing in oneself is required for healing. Faith, together with self esteem and personal power are all important factors, because low self esteem reflects ones lack of faith in oneself as well as in the power of the unseen world. Unquestionably, faith is vital for managing the challenges of our every day existence.

Self esteem and conscious personal power sometimes develop at a memorable point in life that signifies initiation into spiritual adulthood. Developing the confidence to pursue goals is one way that personal power becomes an agent of personal change. At the same time an equally impressive level of change can occur within a person’s spiritual or symbolic life. Becoming internally powered shifts a persons centre of gravity from external to internal, a mark of spiritual passage.

The Four Stages of Personal Power

Self esteem became a popular word in the 1960s, a decade of revolution and redefined our view of the empowered individual. Only then did self esteem become accepted as essential to women’s and men’s health which was redefined to include psychological and spiritual health as well as physical health.

More than three decades later we are now directing all these energy patterns towards personal evolution – forming a self that is powerful enough to be~in the world but not of the world~, a self that can enjoy the magnificence of the physical world without allowing the world`s many illusions to deplete its soul.

Revolution, involution, narcissism and evolution are the four stages through which we progress to attain self esteem and spiritual maturity. A spiritual adult inconspicuously involves her or her inner spiritual qualities in every day decisions. One’s spiritual thoughts and activities are inseparable from other aspects of life; all becomes one.

A person may spend years in each phase or only months, but regardless of how long each phase lasts, she will inevitably grapple with its particular challenges to her character, ethics, morality and self respect.

We have to work to discover ourselves, to understand why we keep secrets, or have addictions, or blame other for our own errors. We must work to understand why we find it difficult to receive or give a compliment, or whether we carry shame within us. We need to become comfortable with taking pride in our character and accomplishments. We need to learn the parameters of our character, how much of ourselves we will compromise, and where we draw the line – or even if we draw the lines. Creating an identity for ourselves is based upon self discovery and not upon biological and ethnic inheritance. This first stage of self discovery is revolution.

Stage One – Revolution

Developing self-esteem requires an act of revolution, or several mini revolutions, in which we begin to separate from group thought and establish our own sense of authority. We may suddenly realise we hold an opinion different from our family or our peers, but in either case we will have difficulty freeing ourselves from the group’s energy, whose strength depends upon numbers and opposition to most expression of individuality.

The act of finding our own voice, even in mini revolutions is spiritually significant. Spiritual maturity is measured not by the sophistication of a person’s opinions, but by their genuineness and the courage necessary to express and maintain them. By courage, it is not the intractable stubbornness of two people locking horns, that dynamic is a second chakra power play. Spiritual maturity, in contrast, is the capacity to stand one’s ground as a reflection of a genuine inner belief.

When we develop this kind of inner strength, even in small measures, we are more capable of introspection and self examination. In learning to honour ones personal values and have the courage to make the choices in this way, we gradually replace the influences of our tribe`s group mind with our own inner or intuitive guidance. Once this process has begun, the next natural step is ~involution~, the exploration of our interior self.

Stage Two – Involution

Every new encounter or pursuit we have asks our inner self “What else do I believe? What else do I think? I want to know myself better. This is a request for information” In every new situation information pours in. We get feelings about new people and new circumstances. In this phase, involution, we assess our external world and how well it is serving our needs. Often, this self examination leads us to want to focus on our relationship with ~God~ and our life’s purpose, but we first need to develop a level of internal stamina that gives us the strength to handle the consequences of self examining thought. A common initial response can be in facing this stage though is that some do not wish to go within as self knowledge promotes choice and action, and many people feel unready for either. Once that step has been taken and the ensuing thought processes taken place, involution is followed by a narcissistic birthing of a new image of oneself.

Stage Three – Narcissism

Although the connotation of the word ~narcissism~ can be negative, it is sometimes an extremely necessary energy for us as we work to develop a strong sense of self. Giving ourselves a new image, (hairstyle, clothes, diet} indicates that changes are also occurring within us. While we are in this vulnerable stage, we may get major critical reactions from our tribal or group associates, but narcissistic energy gives us the backbone to re-create ourselves and our boundaries in the face of opposition. The changes in this stage prepare us for the more significant internal changes to follow.

Being who we want captures the significance of the fourth stage: evolution.

Stage four – Evolution

This last stage in developing self esteem is an internal one. People who can maintain their principles, their dignity, and their faith without compromising any energy from their spirit are internally evolved: people such as Ghandi, or Mother Teresa are examples of this. The world is filled with people of much lesser reputations who have accomplished this level of self-esteem of course, yet these two people took charge of their physical environments – and the environments changed to accommodate the power of their spirits.

They were also thought to be narcissistic during some stage of their development. Mother Teresa, for example was almost forced to leave two religious communities in her early days because her vision of service to the poor was much more intense than her sisters could abide. During that time she was thought to be self absorbed and narcissistic. She had to go through a period of deep spiritual reflection, and when the time was right she acted on her intuitive guidance. Like Ghandi she entered into a stage of evolution in which personality became persona – an archetypal force from which millions of people could draw inspiration. As your own spirit takes command, the world will also yield to its force.

Challenges of the Journey

There is nothing simple about developing self-understanding, independence, and self respect. The third chakra is filled with the energy of our personal ambitions, our sense of responsibility, and our respect for our strengths and weaknesses, as well as our fears and secrets that we are not yet ready to face. Because we are often driven with personal conflicts, we meet the spiritual challenge to “become empty in order to be made full” to die to old habits and self images in order to be reborn, with great trepidation. Yet the path to developing independence and maturity is far more than a psychological act of health. Becoming adept at the internal process of self enquiry and symbolic insight is a vital spiritual task that leads to the growth of faith in oneself.

We are all on a spiritual journey one which eventually brings us independence from our past and fears of tomorrow and brings a deep faith in oneself. It is necessary to shed the fears that block us from recognising the beauty in our lives, and come to a place of healing and self acceptance. We can take this spiritual journey daily in the privacy or our own prayers and meditation.

Developing personal power feels like heaven once we have arrived, but the journey getting there can be long and arduous. Life relentlessly brings us to realise the importance of the words of Polonius ~To thine own self be true~. As I’ve said before, self-awareness is the key. For without personal power, life is a frightening, painful experience.

In a healed and healthy state, this area of the body is electric, vital, and inspired. Its radiant light gives rise to true determination and goodwill. By directing the full force of our intention toward our dreams and goals and moving creatively through life, we leave the limiting aspects of our childhood behind. We are transformed into sacred and peaceful warriors capable of balancing humility with authority, and personal will with divine will.

We are biologically aligned to learning this lesson; our bodies thrive when our spirits thrive. The third chakra embodies the Sacred Truth ~Honour Oneself~. As we gain the strength and stamina that come from living with self esteem, our intuitive abilities emerge naturally.

We then move from the first three chakras of ~External~ power to the next rung of the ladder.

These are the chakras of ~Internal~ power,

beginning with the 4th chakra, the power house of the human energy system and

~Emotional Power~.

I will be exploring the chakras more but I’ve a sense that some of us – me included – in our quest for knowledge jumped to the 4th Chakra – Emotional Power – without healing the first three.

It is clear to me the result is a palpable disconnect between the intellectual understanding of Sacred Truths and integration of those Truths within the core of our Being.

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Posted in Uncategorized

I'm sick….. again…..

Posted on October 30, 2007 by shawnnaOctober 30, 2007

Seems with the drama at work and my son’s surgery, my immune system is shot.

I was sick for a week or so before Ryan’s surgery and am now sick again. Nasty cold bug…….

crying.gif

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Why the Federal Reserve Violates the US Constitution

Posted on October 20, 2007 by shawnnaOctober 20, 2007

I am astounded at my own ignorance – which is why I’m trying so hard to become informed.

If you care about this country, please watch this video.

[googlevideo=http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=5232639329002339531]

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Pictures from Ryan's shoulder surgery

Posted on October 19, 2007 by shawnnaOctober 19, 2007

Here are the pics we took while Ryan was having his shoulder fixed.

This first picture is in the surgical preparation area – and Ryan’s trying to relax by watching a movie on my laptop.

ryansurgerypreprelaxing.jpg

This next photo is of Ryan in the recovery room – which if you’ve read the previous entries you know this was his actual room for well over 24 hours.

ryaninrecoveryroom.jpg

When we finally got to Ryan’s private room, it was so nice. It was at the end of the hall, as far away from the nurses station as we could be. Never-the-less, for some reason hospitals don’t want people to actually sleep. They kept walking in wanting to “check vitals” or do something.

Here’s a pic of the view from his room. We are so lucky to live in such a beautiful area!

viewfromryansroom.jpg

And here’s a pic of his incision. It’s pretty amazing – by the time it heals you won’t even be able to see the scar.

ryansincision.jpg

And at last, he’s ready to go home! Such a trooper! He’s recovering so well! His arm’s mobility is so much better!

ryansreadytogohome.jpg

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Hospitals and why you need an advocate

Posted on October 17, 2007 by shawnnaOctober 17, 2007

My son finally got a bed today – at about 1:30 PM.

Because this “system” is so compartmentalized (surgeon hand off to ass’t surgeon who hand off to OR nurses who hand off to recovery room nurses etc), the absolute ONLY way to make sure your needs are met is to ADVOCATE for them. Now, if you’re drugged up with pain medication, how do you do that? It is not possible. Therefore, everyone needs to have an ADVOCATE with them when they go to the hospital.

Ryan is a healthy 21 year old male and that’s all “they” see. What they failed to factor into the decision to deny him a room after surgery is that he has Epilepsy and lack of sleep is a trigger for seizures. They did not factor his inability to sleep into the equation when prioritizing individuals for beds. So naturally if you have six patients waiting for a bed and five out of the six are 70+ year olds, of course your “21 year old male” will take a back seat.

ugh…… for all the money we pour into this stupid system, we are absolutely antiquated in how we provide care.

Everyone should have an advocate when they go to the hospital – EVERYONE. I am absolutely positive that if I hadn’t made my concern known, Ryan would never have gotten a room.

crying.gif

Posted in Uncategorized

No hospital bed for my son!!

Posted on October 17, 2007 by shawnnaOctober 17, 2007

*sigh*

What a mess….. planned surgery for over a month only to be told the beds are full and he’ll have to spend the night in the recovery room.

So he’s bunking down there and I’m stretched out between two chairs in the surgery waiting room.

And it’s almost 2 AM and of course instead of sleeping, I’m posting here.

And now it’s 4 AM and after tossing and turning in the chair, I finally gave up and went to my car to sleep. At 7:45 AM I woke up and went back to the hospital surgery waiting area and the moment I turned on my cell, it rang. Ryan was very upset he couldn’t find me.

worried.gif

Maybe tomorrow they will find a bed for him.

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