Yes – I can honestly say that moving through the phases of grief definitely ARE in direct correlation to the length of time trust was shared. I see so clearly now the manipulation and lying that should have been so evident before. Hindsight is always 20/20.

From now on, any disconnect between what someone says, and what they do, will be clearly noted and I will assume their actions reflect who they REALLY are. And I won't waste another minute on someone who is clearly empty inside.

So much accomplished this weekend – am truly looking forward to my trip to Baltimore and then next weekend!

EDIT – I also found my old ATM/Debit Visa card – in the washer after doing a load of laundry! At least my new replacement card came yesterday – no pin yet but I can use it as a credit card for my trip to Baltimore.

NOTE TO SELF – stop putting your ATM/Debit card in your jeans pocket when you fill up the car!!!

Sheesh……..

I remember a marriage counselor once saying to me “if he wanted to call, he would call. And if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you”.

That is reality. Sometimes holding onto the reality of any situation is much harder than it sounds. It is so much easier to hang on to the fantasy.

I am positive I understand the spiritual lesson of my Lent.

Recently, I have acted in a very negative way toward people I've never even met. And to add insult to injury – my actions are now documented somewhere for all to see thanks to the lack of integrity of two of those individuals I thought I could trust. I wonder if I would feel such remorse if they hadn't betrayed my trust? Of course, the answer is NO.

And there are NO coincidences so this was all meant to be as well.

This is NOT reflective of who I am or my life's purpose.

Getting caught up in recent events, I let go of who I am in favor of trying to 'fit in' with others I thought I could trust. And there's NO excuse for this at this point in my life.

I am deeply disappointed in how I've acted. Perhaps if I had truly reflected who I am, things may have been different.

To reflect Love, to draw out the Light of Life, to leave others feeling better because of their encounter with me – all of this was recently LOST and buried in my own dark shadow.

Lesson definitely learned – the hard way – as usual.

Even though I grew up in the Roman Catholic church, Lent never held much meaning for me. While I loved the mystery of the Latin mass and the liturgical seasons, I never really understood the connection it had to my 'real' life.

Around 1990, I began exploring my spirituality in depth. I have always felt different – kind of like ultra-conscious of all feelings and energies. A wonderful teacher I had in school – who I'm still in contact with – described me as the most intense young woman he had ever known.

Through the Episcopal church I was attending with the boys after moving to the Seattle area following my divorce, I met a former RC nun and at the suggestion of the parish priest, we began “spiritual direction”. Sounds weird, I know, but it was the most enlightening experience for me. For well over 10 years, she helped me see God at work in my life.

One constant theme since becoming aware of the ebb and flow of my life has been the challenges of Lent. Without fail, Lent has always brought significant opportunities to go deeper into my soul and explore God.

Usually this has been accompanied by some significant emotional upheaval or turmoil.

The first few months of this year have been so extraordinary. I am hoping this Lent will be different and I will be given opportunities for spiritual growth that aren't founded in turmoil. We'll see……. it's clear emotional upheaval will play a significant part in this year's Lent.

My candles are lit and I'm opening my heart to all possibilities. Feeling so spiritually and emotionally connected to someone is something that has been missing from my life for so long. I realize now how empty my heart was when Steve and I were together.

And as Spring begins, I am confident my heart IS open. Now I just need to keep my wits about me and not let this wonderful feeling of being drawn to someone interfere with what I know is important in building a lasting bond.

The Bigger Picture

Because knowledge is power, and not all individuals can handle power responsibly, there is good reason why much technology remains hidden from the public. The general rationale is that were certain technologies to fall into the wrong hands, there would be devastating results. For example, teleportation technology used by criminals would render bank safes obsolete.

On the other hand, it is through suppression of technology that the manipulators of this world maintain their overwhelming control. One avenue of control and funding for the elite, the oil industry, would crumble if free energy technology replaced petroleum technology, and if the transition were smooth, we would be liberated from dependence upon finite energy resources. The extra time, capital, and energy gained could then be applied toward progress instead of survival.

So regarding the suppression of knowledge, it is a question of which poses a greater threat: the irresponsible use of knowledge by the ignorant, or the hoarding and consequent abuse of knowledge by the elite? The first justifies keeping certain knowledge secret, the second justifies its release to disempower the manipulators.

At the highest levels of truth, there is no difference between technology, occultism, and metaphysics – for all are part of a whole and the grand truth in one thus contains the grand truth in the other. Rules and structure still exist outside physicality, and these can be included in science with provisions made for freewill choice. A complete science would place astral planes, parallel dimensions, synchronicities, consciousness, etheric fields, telepathy, vital energies, emotional energies, volition, hyperdimensional existence and timeloops all under the same framework. At present, these appear to be phenomena distinct from science, but that is because science as we know it is incomplete. It is not that these phenomena can be explained in terms of present science as reductionists and debunkers enjoy doing, but rather that present science must expand to accomodate these phenomena in terms of higher physical and metaphysical principles.

To know nature is to know one portion of the Creator. To know yourself is to know another portion of the Creator. Because what is within mirrors what is outside, and what is outside mirrors what is within, knowing both nature and yourself makes for a straight path toward knowing the Creator.

Emphasis mine. For the full article, go to:

http://www.montalk.net/science